They say it takes a village to raise a child.
For some divorced and single mothers that means close-knit communities dubbed “mommunes.”
Kristin Batykefer and her now 4-year-old daughter moved into her two friends’ four-bedroom home in the Jacksonville, Fla., area when she lost her marketing job and her marriage failed.
Her best friend, Tessa Gilder, also went through a divorce and moved into the home, bringing along her two kids, now ages 5 and 1.
While these types of living arrangements are nothing new, especially in nonwhite communities, they have grown in popularity amid the COVID-19 pandemic. Women can share expenses and help each other with childcare.
“In Latino cultures, there’s this idea of a co-mother — a person who supports you and helps you raise your children,” Grace Bastidas, editor-in-chief of Parents.com, told the New York Times.
“At the height of the pandemic, we all started creating these pods of people, so this is just another iteration of that type of partnership.”
This also means that Batykefer’s and Gilder’s daughters — who happen to be the same age — always have another kid to play with.
Batykefer herself grew up in a mommune where her mom and aunt raised her sister and cousin.
“We were told it takes a village, but it’s not always there, and single moms especially are juggling rising costs of living and reduced childcare options,” she told the Times. “This is part of the larger trend of parents stretching traditional boundaries of what a family is, and taking matters into their own hands to find creative solutions.”
Documenting the perks of mommune life on TikTok has also gained interest in the lifestyle. In a clip posted in December with over 1.2 million views, Batykefer claimed the other women stepped up to make her fresh-baked cookies, vegetable soup and looked after her child while she was “sick AF.”
“When I had to leave my husband, all I could think about was how I now had to figure out how to do everything on my own — buy a house on my own, pay my bills on my own and raise my child on my own,” she told the publication.
“I never thought about finding another single mother to live with and do it together. We just fell into it. But now, it’s like, why isn’t it more common for us to join forces?”
In Batykefer’s most recent TikTok, she claimed that live-in moms also get to experience concerts, movie nights and home salon days together on weekends when their kids are with their estranged partners.
“This is your sign to start a mommune,” she wrote on top of a video of the women in swimsuits, taking in a sunset.
