A woman who was told to abort her baby because he would be born without arms is grateful she didn’t take doctors’ advice.
Mariaan Strauss, 25, and her husband, Hendrik Strauss, 26, were excited to learn that Mariaan was pregnant, but 13 weeks in they got bad news.
At their first ultrasound, they discovered that their baby was not developing arms.
The couple claims that their doctors advised them to terminate the pregnancy, but that decision didn’t sit right with them.
“Society is cruel … I thought, Will our child ever be accepted? Is he going to be mocked and bullied?” Mariaan wondered.
“The words of my specialist kept running through my head: ‘You’re selfish if you don’t abort. You must think of the child. He will never be able to have a normal quality of life.’”
“I was angry at God for allowing this. There was self-blame and pain. And the fear of the unknown and an uncertain future,” she shared.
The couple, who both work full time, knew that raising a baby with a physical disability would be difficult, but the Strausses were determined to welcome their baby boy.
Mariaan gave birth to Hendré in June of last year, but it took a few months for her to feel confident that she made the right decision.
“We cried because it was such a beautiful moment,” said Mariaan. “Then the big, dark depression hit me.”
“I thought, Why us? Why our child? You pray and you ask for a healthy child, but then this happens. But if I had to choose today, I would take him just like that, again. Without arms.”
Unfortunately, baby Hendré was born with a few other complications.
His foot was turned inward, which required him to wear a plaster cast, he was born without a fibula and his stomach hasn’t grown, so he can only drink 30 milliliters of milk at a time.
Hendré needs constant care, and sleeps at his aunt Chereé Greyling’s home two nights a week and two nights a week with Mariaan’s mother, Matilda le Roux, who also looks after him during the day.
While the parents were worried about their son, they were elated when their baby boy learned to roll over and get around on his own at 3 months.
“When Hendré was 3 months old, he taught himself to roll from place to place and it was like a cloud lifted,” said Mariaan. “I realized my child was OK, then I was OK and the depression went away.”
Proud father Hendrik explained, “If he wants to get to a toy on the other side of the room, he moves or he pulls his little legs under him and pushes himself forward.”
The couple plans to wait until Hendré is older before looking into getting him prosthetics; they want to remind people that it’s OK to not fit into society’s standard of what’s “normal”.
“Hendré is the greatest gift we could have received,” Mariaan said.
